I was born (October 11, 1960) and raised in Meadow Lake, a small town in northern Saskatchewan, Canada. My dad had a real estate/insurance business and my mom was a bookkeeper. My three sisters and I raised Registered American Quarter horses and we barrel raced. Horses were a big part of my childhood, along with lots of other pets, too. My pets were always my best friends.
I was very shy and introverted and the only person who knew I could sing was my youngest sister, Glenda. We always shared a bedroom and every night I sang her to sleep. She called it "Best by Request". I never sang for anyone else. I would rather have tackled a bear than sing for anyone else. But eventually it got out I could sing.
Glenda told Mom, one day, I could sing and Mom phoned Mrs. Rawling, a singing teacher, to see if I could start singing lessons. I was 16. Mrs. Rawling took me under her wing and I loved her so much.
Over the years I had other singing teachers and I would practice singing for hours and hours everyday. I would prepare for recitals, music festivals etc and when the time came to sing, I would be so terrified, my throat would close up and couldn’t sing.
Of course, my family said I had sounded wonderful but I knew I didn’t. I knew the audience were all wondering what in the world was I doing up there trying to sing. Didn’t anyone ever tell her she can’t sing? I would cry and cry for days and wonder why did I keep doing that to myself. It was so very discouraging and depressing. But no matter how painful, I couldn’t stop singing, I always knew I was born to sing.
Then when I was 30, I was living in Toronto, and I wanted to find a singing teacher. While looking through the Yellow Pages, I saw "Show Offs". Performance classes to over come shyness and stage fright. It took me several weeks and several attempts but one day I finally called and talked to Art Nefsky. I signed up for a class and took them for a year.
Finding Show Offs in the Yellow Pages was a door of opportunity for me to step through and I found the courage to step through it, and it changed my life. It really did. After 3 months of lessons, I wanted to get up and sing. I could hardly wait for my turn. It is possible to over come severe stage fright.
I always wanted to record an album of my songs and it’s taken me this long to do it. Well, better late than never!
When I started recording my album, I would mention it to people and people would start opening up to me and telling me their stories about how they always wanted to sing and write songs etc but never did it. I’ve heard some pretty sad stories. I thought mine was bad. I feel if my story might inspire someone to take a chance and do what they love to do, no matter how big or small, then it was well worth it all.
I’ve noticed over the years, that my attitude and intentions towards my singing has changed so much. When I was younger, it was all about the "perfect performance", there was no room for mistakes. When I sang, everyone was listening to me and I believed I had to be perfect or no one would love me. But now, after all these years, what’s important to me, is to sing with love and offer to the listener something they can carry in their hearts. Now, it’s a joy to sing. I know that sounds kind of sappy but that’s how I feel.
Over the years, I’ve had opportunities to "do" something with my voice but I always ran away, looking back I can see that the time wasn’t right. I feel it is my purpose to share with all of you the HU, and love, through my songs, my music. I believe with all my heart, that nothing can make changes, in people and the world, like music. Music has the ability to bypass the mind and go straight to the heart. The heart center is where changes are made.
My story is about conquering fear. What you are reading, seeing, hearing, here on my site, is all about having the courage to step out into the world and do what you love. To stand up and say, "This is who I am, this is what I was born to do and what I love and come what may."
I offer my love to you through my music. My very best wishes to all of you.
Love, Pauline Ann